Lately I whine about my neck, I whine about lack of sleep due to pain, I whine about being alone with nobody to help me through this tough time, I whine about not being the best mom I can be, and when it comes down to it, Im done!
Where does whining really get us anyhow? Yes we get the sympathy texts, fb messages, and the "Oh I'm so sorrys," but it doesn't help the pain, doesn't help the lack of sleep, and surely doesn't help me with the kids. So I say it again, I AM DONE!
Just this morning I forced myself out of bed in terrible pain to get ready for church. The kids were singing, and I surely wasn't going to miss it. I've put my share of happy faces on, so this wasn't any different. Go, smile, tell the kids how well they did, and head home to rest. Having taken my morning drugs to help ease the pain, I knew there would be no way for me to comfortably drive to church. I texted a friend for a ride, and got the hmm haa, can't you drive yourself rubish. HELLO, would I have called if I thought I could drive myself? So I put my composed face on and headed for church. Midway down main street, I couldn't do it. The pain had consumed me and I drove home. I have felt terrible all day having had to miss church, but you know what. I am only one person and right now, I am injured and barely holding on. And to that one nasty friend whom said to me, "Get on the curb and I will pick you up in 10 min." Ya, thanks but no thanks. I have come to conclude who my real friends are, and to you my friend, you are released... I QUIT. Its like a dealth but I AM DONE. Hope you are happy.
Kocher Family Happenings: A journey through the lives of our family.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Back in the Saddle Again.. OR WAS IT???
Last weekend was a "family" weekend. After the numerious ER visits, and an epidural placed in my neck to numb the pain, I felt it safe to take the kids. The kids and I had a great time. Ralph came over and we raked leaves into pumpkin bags, got the yard all cleaned up, and just enjoyed the cool crisp, yet sunny fall Saturday. Mom was able to get those ever wanted pictures of the kids in their Halloween shirts next to the fall follage, so she was extra happy.
Grant escaped with daddy to the football game while we girls spent the afternoon dipping Nutter Butters into white chocolate for the kids' Halloween treats at school. We ended the evening with a fun festive Halloween dinner. Mummie Dogs, and Pumpkin face smoothies. We topped it off with our tradition of watching the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. It was just a great day!!!!
Sunday, Mom wasn't moving very quick, as she had WAY overdone it on Saturday. Keeping her frown hidden, the fun continued with painting pumpkins, decorating the Haunted House, and making what felt like hundreds of popcorn balls for trick or treaters.
Monday I started my job with Easter Seals and went to my first client's place in Wildrose. Sadely after just a couple of hrs the pain in my neck was so severe, I had to leave. I made it to the clinic at 11:30, rushed to Williston to see Dr. Meridian yet again for another epidural, and ended up sleeping Halloween away. I was just heart broked to have not taken the kids trick or treating. They stopped over to get ready and take pictures and that was that.. I will say, the one REAL big down fall of the kids going trick or treating with their dad is there ISN'T any candy for me to steal during the day.. lol Probably a good thing since i have gained 25lbs from all the steriods they have given me. Still makes me sad that I can't just snag a chocolate every now and then... lol
No School Tuesday as I needed to rest, and Wed. I headed back. Wed went better than today, but I have come to conclude that it is going to be a long heading road regardless. Dr. Meridian did yet another scan and it shows that the not only are their buldges, but there is a herniated disk as well. If that doesn't go away, it could mean surgery. So frustrating.
Kurt has the kids this weekend, and then I am going to try and take the kids next week. I am so scared just because doing the simplest of things like taking a pan out of the oven sends shooting pains up my arm and neck. I haven't slept a wink the last 2 nights, and even with a sleep aid, i am starting to think there is no sleep in sight for me. I went to school at 7:00 a.m. this morning because I was up and no sence in lying in bed any longer. I got my lesson planning done for the next couple of weeks, so I guess it paid off in the long run.
Not it is 5:00ish and I am exhausted. I wear my neck brace at school to take pressure off my neck, but didn't take as man meds during the day, so now its hard to get the pain under control. Again so frustrating.
I appologize for all of my whining and crying over this matter. Again the word is frustrating as I didn't do anything to my neck. My MRI shows trama, and yet all I did was wake up with a kinked neck.. ugggg.
Who knows what the next day holds I guess. Thanks to those people whom once again have been there to help, and take me to appointments, or sent flowers. Means so much.
Just another bump in the road that needs to be smoothed over. My main goal to get better for my peeps. They are my world and I am bound and determined to get better...
I hope you enjoy the Fall Halloween weekend pics..
Take care,
Anjelika
Grant escaped with daddy to the football game while we girls spent the afternoon dipping Nutter Butters into white chocolate for the kids' Halloween treats at school. We ended the evening with a fun festive Halloween dinner. Mummie Dogs, and Pumpkin face smoothies. We topped it off with our tradition of watching the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. It was just a great day!!!!
Sunday, Mom wasn't moving very quick, as she had WAY overdone it on Saturday. Keeping her frown hidden, the fun continued with painting pumpkins, decorating the Haunted House, and making what felt like hundreds of popcorn balls for trick or treaters.
Monday I started my job with Easter Seals and went to my first client's place in Wildrose. Sadely after just a couple of hrs the pain in my neck was so severe, I had to leave. I made it to the clinic at 11:30, rushed to Williston to see Dr. Meridian yet again for another epidural, and ended up sleeping Halloween away. I was just heart broked to have not taken the kids trick or treating. They stopped over to get ready and take pictures and that was that.. I will say, the one REAL big down fall of the kids going trick or treating with their dad is there ISN'T any candy for me to steal during the day.. lol Probably a good thing since i have gained 25lbs from all the steriods they have given me. Still makes me sad that I can't just snag a chocolate every now and then... lol
No School Tuesday as I needed to rest, and Wed. I headed back. Wed went better than today, but I have come to conclude that it is going to be a long heading road regardless. Dr. Meridian did yet another scan and it shows that the not only are their buldges, but there is a herniated disk as well. If that doesn't go away, it could mean surgery. So frustrating.
Kurt has the kids this weekend, and then I am going to try and take the kids next week. I am so scared just because doing the simplest of things like taking a pan out of the oven sends shooting pains up my arm and neck. I haven't slept a wink the last 2 nights, and even with a sleep aid, i am starting to think there is no sleep in sight for me. I went to school at 7:00 a.m. this morning because I was up and no sence in lying in bed any longer. I got my lesson planning done for the next couple of weeks, so I guess it paid off in the long run.
Not it is 5:00ish and I am exhausted. I wear my neck brace at school to take pressure off my neck, but didn't take as man meds during the day, so now its hard to get the pain under control. Again so frustrating.
I appologize for all of my whining and crying over this matter. Again the word is frustrating as I didn't do anything to my neck. My MRI shows trama, and yet all I did was wake up with a kinked neck.. ugggg.
Who knows what the next day holds I guess. Thanks to those people whom once again have been there to help, and take me to appointments, or sent flowers. Means so much.
Just another bump in the road that needs to be smoothed over. My main goal to get better for my peeps. They are my world and I am bound and determined to get better...
I hope you enjoy the Fall Halloween weekend pics..
Take care,
Anjelika
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