A New Week

I have just decided to vent and move on for the week. Tomorrow marks 1 week post surgery, and 5 days home in Crosby, and to be blunt, I AM MISERABLE! Trying so hard to think of the overall outcome, because I do want it to badely, but the pain is so terrible, I can't take it anymore.

Nurse Kurt & dad had to once gain reposition the binder last night. I wish I could describe the pain & feeling when they take it off. I feel like all of my insides from bra line down, just turn to mush and fall so to speak. I don't know if it is because they pulled the muscles so tight in those areas during the abdominalplasty that when they aren't wrapped up, they get confused or what. For the 2nd time, my dad has to stand right behind me when Kurt takes the binder off, because I get physically sick. First light headed, then my eyes go shut, and bam, the feeling of intense muscle pain. It is just miserable. My body just shakes in pain until they get it back on.

Kurt removed the pain ball yesterday, because that was empty, so now I rely on nothing but Hydrocodone 10/650 to get me through. I am only allowed so many a day because of the amount of tylenal in them, so have to be careful. I take toredol in between for other pain, but man, I wish they had some kind of miracle drug that just numbed it all for like 6 weeks. hehe

I feel a bit bad, that all I have been doing is complaning, but people keep asking questions, and emailing, so I am just being honest. As of this moment, would i recommend this procedure to anybody else, NO NOT ON YOUR LIFE... Ask me in 6 months when I am wearing a cute little swim suit, and my answer may have changed, but for now, NO.

Dad has decided to stay a bit longer. Between him and my ever so wonderful college bud Tennille, I think we should all be in good hands. Kurt goes back to work today, which leaves me a bit anxious, but dad and Tennille, will do fine. Just hope I don't have to poop today. Kurt is really the only man for that job. :)

The kids are really being good. Bethany is absolutely discusted by the hanging balls sewn on to my abdoment that fill with red bloody liquid. The drains fill up several times a day to get rid of excess liquid. She always says, "mom cover those bloods, they scare me." Grant is just super helpful, and Micaela is more curious than anything. They really don't know why I have done this, or the real reason, but they know mommy wont have a rash anymore, and that works for them.

Thursday, I go to Bismarck for my one week follow up, only this time, i wont have the nice IV drugs that knocked me out for the trip on the way home. Rather dreading the whole thing all together. Ever flippen bump just hurts. I have been reasurred that after getting through all of week one and week 2, week three does go better. Please say a prayer that it does.

Now moving on from my selfishness, please say a prayer for my Mother In Law Barb. She is having some heart troubles, and will need to have a value fixed. Surgery sounds very serious, and we keep her close in our hearts.

Our hearts are also open to my mom's family, the Haibergs, as we all mourn the loss of my uncle Bruce. After a feak accident, he has lost his life, and left everbody a bit uneasy. He came for a short visit Sat night, walked up town to have a few drinks, and never came back to my mom's house. She had made up the couch, and left the light one, and he never returned. After a search, the police found that he had wondered too far North of her home, and found him frozen to death a mear block or so from her house. Such terrible news. A combination of too much to drink and having althzheimers is the cause. So sad. May he rest in peace.

Well it is nearning 7:00.am. and my hr of pain free is now gone. Time to reposition all of the pillows and head back to bed.

Have a great week!!
The Kochers